she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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