Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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