your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
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I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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