I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Every concussion has its silver lining
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
tell me about the fingering
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
