he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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