I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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