all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
