she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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