i think i scared a bird with my dick
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
