Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
