we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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