Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The struggles of a small town man whore
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
