Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
