Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he puts the penis in happiness.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
