You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
