last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she smelled like a LAN party
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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