Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
