Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
