Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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