I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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