Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize