he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
