Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
