her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
