Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
