I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
