dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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