how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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