At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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