Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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