He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
