am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
