Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
