I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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