This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
