I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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