my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We are all done wearing pants today
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
