I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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