I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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