I just threw up on my dentist
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize