you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
