His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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