it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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