you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
