i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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