You were right. It hurts to walk today.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
