Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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