I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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