I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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