i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
