Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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