dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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