her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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