She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
