Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
