I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
