I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I didn't shave. On purpose
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
