I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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