If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
